The intro

I’ve decided my life is more interesting than most reality shows. Maybe someone out there wants to read and be entertained. First off, let me introduce myself. I’m a typical Virgo, I like to plan and know exactly what’s going on. Which is why God screws with me so often by changing my plans. I married my college sweetheart, who I shall not affectionately refer to as Pickle, ignoring the zillion reasons why that was a bad idea, from the fact that he had to always be the smartest person around to the fact that his work was always going to be #1. We are both lawyers which is also a very, very bad idea. Combine that with the fact his pants seem to fall off and his penis fall into women he knows are “a class below him” in intelligence and it didn’t make for the best marriage. The only good things to come out of it were my children, a twin girl I will call Noodle and a twin boy I will call Big. They are currently 9. I am a former athlete who has dabbled with getting back into sports as an adult. I’m a runner off and on, and am trying to find a regular workout routine. I love to watch almost all sports and know more than 99% of females. I’m an attorney but only as my job, not as my life’s definition. I can be paranoid and crazy, I’m fiercely loyal and will defend those I love with my last breath. At 35, I was newly separated and navigating life with an ex who decided it would be a great idea to shack up with his latest slut without telling me. Slutpuppy now thinks she and I can be friends, despite the fact she was sleeping with my husband. She is also obsessed with Noodle and sends her selfies. Yes, the 35 year old woman sends my 9 year old selfies. At 36, I decided I needed some changes in my life. I lost some weight and asked out a boy to a football game of a team I don’t even like. The boy (Yankee) and I are now navigating the beginnings of a relationship. He has two young kids, Son and Daughter, who he has 50% of the time. I can’t say enough good about Yankee and the joy and peace he brings to my life. He’s smart, sexy, caring, the BEST father, considerate, funny, and a sports nut like me. He’s reopened my love of adventure that was quashed by stick in the mud Pickle and with him I never know if I’ll be ziplining or skiing or kayaking, or just sitting on the couch snuggling in front of a football game. Who else do you need to know? Let’s see, there are my besties Boobs McGee who is also my dating coach and JJ, my road warrior. My parents Big D (my mom) and Big B (my dad) who are redneck and uncouth and slightly insane but they love me so there’s that. My sister La, a nurse in another state living a fabulously child free life of travel and spending money, and her long term boyfriend C. This is my life as a lawyer, dance mom, karate mom, girl scout mom, former athlete, single woman, and divorcee.